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53 Funny Marriage Quotes That Might Actually Be True

1. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the opening, all you need is two hearts and…
53 Funny Marriage Quotes That Might Actually Be True

1. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the opening, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you hope you had a club and a spade.” – Unknown

2. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is ever right, and the other is a husband.” – Unknown

3. “Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown

4. “Marriage is a bond between a person who never recognizes anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” – Unknown

5. “Marriage is the victory of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the victory of hope over experience.” – Oscar Wilde

6. “Marriage is not just divine communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and memorized to carry out the trash.”

Joyce Brothers

7. “Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.” – Gary Busey

8. “Marriage is related to a phone call in the night: first the arena, and then you rise.”– Evelyn Hendrickson

9. “The best way to get most partners to do something is to advise that maybe they’re too ancient to do it.” – Anne Bancroft

10. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is streaming water, the pieces are built of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the conclusion.” –

Jerry Seinfeld

11. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

53 Funny Marriage Quotes That Might Actually Be True

12. “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” – Mae West

13. “Getting married is much like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.” – Minnie Pearl

14. “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” – Andre Maurois

15. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” – Joyce Brothers

16. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they are.” – Will Ferrell

17. “Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works and the wife shops.”

18. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is a battlefield, and the pieces are animated.”

19. “A successful marriage requires falling in love often, always with the same person.”

    53 Funny Marriage Quotes That Might Actually Be True

    20. “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get; it’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

    21. “Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”

    22. “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.”

    23. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.”

    24. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.”

    25. “In a marriage, each partner is given a chance to be an angel for the other. When you both become angels, you can fly.”

    26. “Marriage is like a bank account. You put in what you take out, and the interest is compounded.”

    27. “Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, then the wake-up.”

    28. “Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.” – Oscar Wilde

    29. “The best way to get most partners to do something is to advise that maybe they’re too ancient to do it.” – Ann Bancroft

    30. “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.” – Billy Connolly

    31. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman

    32. “Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring, or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.” – Helen Rowland

    33. “Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” – Mae West

    34. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx

    35. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” –

    Jerry Seinfeld

    36. “The most successful marriages are based on lies. My parents have been married for 45 years, and they’ve never told each other they love them.” – Unknown

    37. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.” – Unknown

    38. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

    39. “Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown

    40. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

    41. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” –

    Jerry Seinfeld

    42. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx

    43. “Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown

    44. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.” – Unknown

    45. “Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” – Mae West

    46. “Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” – Gilbert K. Chesterton

    47. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” – Joyce Brothers

    48. “A good marriage is like a casserole; only those responsible for it know what goes into it.” – Unknown

    49. “Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

    50. “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” – Andre Maurois

    51. “Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings, or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.” –

    Helen Rowland

    52. “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.” – Mae West

    53. “Marriage is related to a phone call in the night: first the arena, and then you rise.” – Evelyn Hendrickson.

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