1. “I hate it when I think I’m buying organic vegetables, and when I get home, I discover they’re just regular donuts.” –
Ellen DeGeneres
2. “I’m not lazy; I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
3. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing (Friends)
4. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” –
Dave Barry
5. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
6. “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?” – Unknown
7.”I’m not sure if I’m actually productive or just really good at procrastinating.” – Unknown
8. “My phone autocorrects ‘fml’ to ‘yay’ because I use the phrase so often.” – Unknown
9. “I’m not lazy; I’m just on my energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
10. “I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult.” – Unknown
11. “I don’t always procrastinate, but when I do, I prefer to do it tomorrow.” – Unknown
12. “I’m not short; I’m just concentrated awesome.” – Unknown
13. “I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
14. “I’m not arguing; I’m just passionately expressing my point of view.” – Unknown
15. “I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” – Unknown
16. “I don’t always lose my phone, but when I do, it’s always on silent.” – Unknown
17. “I’m not always sarcastic, but when I am, I’m probably annoyed.” – Unknown
18. “I’m not fat; I’m just easy to see.” – Unknown
19. “I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.” – Unknown
20. “I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
21. “I have a photographic memory but with the lens cap on.” – Unknown
22. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just prioritizing the things that make me happy.” – Unknown
23. “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman; I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.” – Unknown
24. “I’m not lazy; I’m just conserving energy.” – Unknown
25. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Unknown
26. “I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right and you’re wrong.” – Unknown
27. “I’m not sure if I’m procrastinating or just giving myself time to think.” – Unknown
28. “I’m not arguing; I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.” – Unknown
29. “I don’t always have a witty comeback, but when I do, I come up with it two hours later.” – Unknown
30. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just waiting for inspiration.” – Unknown
31. “I’m not arguing; I’m just telling you why you’re wrong.” – Unknown
32. “I don’t always have a plan, but when I do, it’s a bad one.” – Unknown
33. “I’m not lazy; I’m just conserving my energy for when I really need it.” – Unknown
34.”I’m not arguing; I’m just passionately expressing my rightness.” – Unknown
35. “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room together?” – Unknown
36. “I’m not lazy; I’m just on power-saving mode.” – Unknown
37. “I don’t have a ‘type.’ Unless you count ‘not interested’ as a type.” – Unknown
38. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just prioritizing my Netflix queue.” – Unknown
39. “I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.” – Unknown
40. “I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right and you’re wrong.” – Unknown
41. “I’m not lazy; I’m just conserving my energy for more important things, like napping.” – Unknown
42. “I’m not sure if I’m procrastinating or just taking a really long break.” – Unknown
43. “I’m not arguing; I’m just passionately expressing my opinion and hoping you’ll agree with me.” – Unknown
44. “I’m not always late, but when I am, it’s because I forgot the concept of time.” – Unknown
45. “I’m not arguing; I’m just stating my opinion in a louder voice.” – Unknown
46. “I’m not lazy; I’m just allergic to Mondays.” – Unknown
47. “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, but have you ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room?” – Unknown
48. “I’m not arguing; I’m just using my outside voice.” – Unknown
49. “I’m not lazy; I’m just practicing my hibernation skills.” – Unknown
50. “I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.” – Unknown
51. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just waiting for the right time to start procrastinating.” – Unknown
52. “I’m not arguing; I’m just passionately expressing my rightness in a really annoying way.” – Unknown
53. “I’m not lazy; I’m just taking a horizontal life pause.” – Unknown
54. “I’m not arguing, I’m just trying to explain why I’m right and you’re an idiot.” – Unknown
55. “I’m not short; I’m fun-sized.” – Unknown
56. “I’m not arguing; I’m just telling you why you’re wrong in a really annoying voice.” – Unknown
57. “I’m not lazy; I’m just on a break from being productive.” – Unknown
58. “I’m not arguing; I’m just using my words to make you feel bad about yourself.” – Unknown
59. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just waiting for the last minute to be more efficient.” – Unknown
60. “I’m not arguing; I’m just practicing my debating skills.” – Unknown
61. “I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving my energy for when I really need it, like when the pizza guy arrives.” – Unknown
62. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to explain why you’re wrong in a really loud voice.” – Unknown
63. “I’m not lazy; I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Unknown
64. “I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right in a way that makes you feel dumb.” – Unknown
65. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just strategically delaying.” – Unknown
66. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to save you from your own wrongness.” – Unknown
67. “I’m not lazy; I’m just energy efficient.” – Unknown
68. “I’m not arguing; I’m just expressing my opinions in a way that makes you question your own existence.” – Unknown
69. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just taking a mental health break.” – Unknown
70. “I’m not arguing; I’m just using my words to crush your soul.” – Unknown
71. “I’m not lazy; I’m just on power-saving mode until further notice.” – Unknown
72. “I’m not arguing; I’m just passionately expressing my rightness in a way that makes you want to punch me in the face.” – Unknown
73. “I’m not saying I’m Superman, but have you ever seen me and Superman in the same room?” – Unknown
74. “I’m not arguing; I’m just giving you a chance to admit you’re wrong.” – Unknown
75. “I’m not lazy; I’m just taking a mental vacation.” – Unknown
76. “I’m not arguing; I’m just using my superior intellect to prove you wrong.” – Unknown
77.”I’m not procrastinating; I’m just waiting for inspiration to strike.” – Unknown
78. “I’m not arguing; I’m just stating the obvious.” – Unknown
79. “I’m not lazy; I’m just conserving my energy for when it really matters, like dessert.” – Unknown
80. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to educate you on the error of your ways.” – Unknown
81. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just taking a break to refuel my creativity.” – Unknown
82. “I’m not arguing; I’m just using my words to make you feel inferior.” – Unknown
83. “I’m not lazy; I’m just conserving my energy for the weekend.” – Unknown
84. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to teach you how to be right like me.” – Unknown
85. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just letting my ideas marinate.” – Unknown
86. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to open your eyes to the truth.” – Unknown
87. “I’m not lazy; I’m just conserving my energy for when I become a millionaire.” – Unknown
88. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to show you the light at the end of the tunnel of your wrongness.” – Unknown
89. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just giving my mind a chance to breathe.” – Unknown
90. “I’m not arguing; I’m just using my words to make you question everything you’ve ever known.” – Unknown
91. “I’m not lazy; I’m just recharging my batteries.” – Unknown
92. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to help you see the error of your ways.” – Unknown
93. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just taking a mental vacation to a beach somewhere.” – Unknown
94. “I’m not arguing; I’m just stating the obvious truths that you refuse to acknowledge.” – Unknown
95. “I’m not arguing; I’m just exercising my right to be right.” – Unknown
96. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just giving my brain a rest from all the awesomeness it’s been producing.” – Unknown
97. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to enlighten you with my infinite wisdom.” – Unknown
98. “I’m not lazy; I’m just maximizing my laziness potential.” – Unknown
99. “I’m not arguing; I’m just having a heated discussion with someone who is clearly wrong.” – Unknown
100. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just being an incubator for brilliant ideas.” – Unknown
101. “I’m not arguing; I’m just teaching you the art of being right.” – Unknown
102. “I’m not lazy; I’m just saving my energy for the important things, like pizza.” – Unknown
103. “I’m not arguing; I’m just expressing my opinion in a way that happens to be correct.” – Unknown
104. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just taking a moment to appreciate the beauty of life.” – Unknown
105. “I’m not arguing; I’m just trying to enlighten you with my superior knowledge.” – Unknown
106. “I’m not lazy; I’m just conserving my energy for when I really need it, like when I’m old.” – Unknown
107. “I’m not arguing; I’m just giving you a chance to recognize my greatness.” – Unknown
108. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just letting my mind wander to places of endless possibility.” – Unknown
109. “I’m not arguing; I’m just presenting the facts in a way that happens to make you look stupid.” – Unknown
110. “I’m not lazy; I’m just preserving my energy for the zombie apocalypse.” – Unknown
111. “I’m not arguing; I’m just giving you the opportunity to learn from me.” – Unknown
112. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just letting my ideas marinate until they are perfectly delicious.” – Unknown
113. “I’m not lazy; I’m just strategically conserving my energy for my next brilliant idea.” – Unknown
114. “I’m not arguing; I’m just helping you see the error of your ways.” – Unknown
115. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just taking a moment to bask in my own awesomeness.” – Unknown
116.. “I’m not arguing; I’m just using my superior intelligence to outwit you.” – Unknown
117. “I’m not lazy; I’m just efficiently using my energy to avoid doing anything unnecessary.” – Unknown
118. “I’m not arguing; I’m just enlightening you with my superior knowledge and wit.” – Unknown
119. “I’m not procrastinating; I’m just giving my creative genius time to percolate.” – Unknown
120. “I’m not arguing; I’m just speaking the truth, even if it hurts your feelings.” – Unknown
