1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
2. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
3. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
4. Why do commas and apostrophes make good friends? Because they’re both great at keeping things together.
5. Why did the grammarian go to jail? Because he committed a sentence.
6. What’s a word for a group of whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.
7. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
9. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other has a pause at the end of its clause.
10. I before E except after C… weird, right?
11. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
12. What’s the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles, because it has a mile between each S.
13. Why did the punctuation mark break up with the apostrophe? It was too possessive.
14. What’s the difference between a horse and a grammarian? One gallops, and the other analyzes galloping.
15. Why don’t oysters give to charity? They’re shellfish.
16. Why did the verb break up with the noun? Because it wasn’t the subject of their relationship.
17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
18. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
19. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One teaches lessons, and the other is a lesson in itself.
20. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire.
